Check out the latest episode on the All My Friends are Therapists podcast!
Annie: Welcome to the podcast. All my friends are therapists. My name is Annie Kendig, and I’m a licensed mental health professional. And although I have my own therapist, my friends always end up filling in the gaps. Each episode will be real talk mental health topics with a licensed mental health counselor who turns all of her friends into therapists.
I am so excited to share with you episode two of my audio scrapbook series. This episode’s topic is noise pollution. I want to thank all of my guests who provided their opinions and sound bites to the episode. It was so fun talking about this topic with my friends and also researching some real strategies.
At the end of the episode will be recommendations for dealing with a polluted mind. Thank you for choosing to listen to my noise pollution today. When I was in high school, I’d be in the car with my mom doing my best [00:01:00] DJing skills. I’d scan the radio channels, only landing on a radio station for a second or two.
Never satisfied with what I found. My mom used to say, Okay, I guess there’s nothing on. Why don’t you just turn it off? What? And sit in silence? She’s crazy! Now I find myself saying the same thing to my kids. Actually planning whole days around reducing the noise in my house. Limiting screen time, getting outdoors, taking batteries out of annoying toys, planning quiet times and nap times, putting on noise canceling headphones and earplugs, keeping music low and even without lyrics, yelling at my kids to stop yelling.
Every generation is getting louder and louder. I was exposed to TV, computer, music, all, you know, all that stuff as a kid. But my kids are exposed to even more. My daughter, my third child, can fall asleep in a noisy restaurant, no problem. Sometimes [00:02:00] even easier than she can fall asleep in a quiet, dark room.
I worry about that. Have I taught her a noise tolerance that’s higher than her central nervous system can handle? I worry about that with my boys. How many of their temper tantrums, the whining and yelling comes from their struggle to be heard over all of the noise that surrounds them constantly? I heard a term recently, noise pollution, so I asked ChatGPT for a definition.
ChatGPT: Noise pollution refers to the excessive or disturbing levels of sound in the environment that interfere with normal activities or cause discomfort. It can originate from various sources. Including industrial activities, transportation, such as road traffic, airplanes, and trains, construction sites, recreational activities, and household appliances.
Annie: Turns out noise pollution can have adverse effects on human health, including hearing impairment, [00:03:00] sleep disturbances, stress, hypertension, decreased cognitive performance, all the kind of stuff that I assumed people who live in like Manhattan had to deal with. But not little miss mom out in the suburbs or little working fella in the office.
Like why is this now such a big topic and one that I can’t stop thinking about? So if you’re like me, you ask your friends about it. And if you don’t know that ACDC song, then most people dont know what you’re talking about. . Kind of like when I asked my friend Shay. Okay. What do you think about noise pollution.
Shayna: Noise pollution.
Annie: Yep. What, what are your thoughts on it?
Shayna: Uh, when I hear that, I think of like overstimulation.
Annie: Oh, okay. Yeah. What do you overstimulated? Yeah. What do you think about that? [00:04:00]
Shayna: Uh, it makes me feel. I think of the color brown, I think, too much. Like, I just see, like, basically a tornado of brown. I think I’ve oversimulated.
Basically a tornado.
Annie: Ah, yes, Shay, the correct term for that is shitstorm. I can totally relate. I was pulled away from my home and my family recently for multiple days. You’d think when I got back, I’d be refreshed, energized, ready to handle all the toddlerness with a renewed sense of patience and understanding.
The opposite was true. Every cry sounded like nails on a chalkboard. Every whine made my ears hurt and my skin crawl. Was I completely desensitized to this level of noise pollution before I left? Or worse, was I numb? I don’t want to be numb around my kids, going through the motions, reaching [00:05:00] for the earplugs at 4 p.
m. Gosh, I think I’m reminding myself of someone.
The Grinch: One thing I hate!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
Annie: I love the Grinch, and I relate to him on many principles. But I don’t want to walk around feeling like the Grinch with my kids all day. But it’s so hard to disrupt this cycle of noise pollution once you start noticing it. Once you are aware of it, you can’t not notice the noise pollution.
My mom friend, Stephanie, had this to say.
Stephanie: Okay, what do I think about noise pollution? I think you already know my answer because I am a mother, um, and I have two very noisy children, and so nothing is ever quiet. But the things that I think about that overstimulate me the most As a mom, would be noise and touch [00:06:00] and the, you know, the oversensitivity to touch and feeling touched out was probably when they were younger.
Now, it’s more so the noise. And when I think about the noises that overstimulate me the most, I think about, um, mom over and over and over again from them. Either they’re whining it or they’re asking me a question or they’re just saying my name over and over. I think about them giggling. I think about them laughing hysterically, um, which unfortunately gets Me anxious in the same way that them whining and crying would.
Um, I also think about when they’re playing and they’re playing with loud toys, like magnet tiles that are falling all over the floor, you know, or toys that make noise. Toys that make noise are the worst, or the TV is on in the background, and then when there’s not all that happening, and Alexa isn’t playing in the house, or my kid isn’t knocking on something like she is right now in the background of this voice memo [00:07:00] on noise pollution.
If it’s not any of those things, it’s all the other things, like the dishwasher, or the washer and dryer, or it’s the air purifier that is constantly humming in our house, or it’s the fridge that’s constantly dinging because it’s left open. All the time. And if it’s not those things, it’s my husband who works from home and his white noise machine that’s on 24 7 to drown out the noise of all of his meetings that he has.
You know, that’s what I think that’s for anyway, but really it’s for him to drown out all the noise from upstairs so that he can concentrate on what he’s doing and when it’s not. Any of those things, it’s my dog. It’s my dog barking. It’s her nails on the hardwood floor. It’s her licking at her paws or scratching at the door to get out.
And then finally, at the end of the day, when you have just a moment, you know, a moment of what you think is silence and quiet, it’s not because them are watching TV or in order to go to bed at night, you know, when, when you think [00:08:00] you want it silent, we’re turning on all the sound machines. And so we’re hearing the sound machines in the girl’s room and we’re turning on our fan to create noise so that the other noises don’t wake us up.
It’s insanity. Why do we do it? I have no idea. So I’m happy that you’re looking into it. Thank you. Goodbye.
Annie: And it’s not just moms who are suffering from noise pollution. My friend Shannon, who lives in California, knew exactly what I was talking about when I asked her about this topic. Okay, I’d like to know your thoughts on noise pollution.
Shannon: I’m so glad you’re asking this, um, cause I have lots of thoughts. Um, there are parts of the U S that are banning leaf blowers and everyone’s like, first they came for our guns and now they’re coming for leaf blowers. And I was like, I stand by the leaf blower, get them out. There’s so loud. They’re terrible [00:09:00] for the environment.
Annie: Leaf blowers.
Shannon: Yeah. Well, they run on gas.
Annie: Well, but what about lawnmowers?
Shannon: Lawnmowers do something. Leaf blowers, we have the wind. I should also say, I’m in Southern California. There are no leaves to blow, so I don’t know why this is happening. Like we have different trees out here. I think probably what is one of the biggest determining factors is though, is where you are.
Noise pollution is going to be, like, what constitutes pollution is going to be determined by where you are and what you’re used to. You get accustomed to a certain level. of noise pollution at a certain point, and it becomes just part of your daily life.
Annie: So then that makes sense, because it’s like, you’re only [00:10:00] bothered by the noise pollution if it’s outside of what you’re used to or comfortable with.
Shannon: Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Annie: Okay, so we agree that there’s a level of desensitization and acclimation to noise pollution. Yeah. So let’s start finding solutions for when that level of tolerance is being violated constantly. Okay, so then for all of this, like, like, what do you do with it, right? Like, we have this noise pollution that is really based on your environment and just personal tolerance, but then, like, okay, so, we’re overstimulated.
We have noise pollution from everywhere, and if you get to a certain point, like, like I did the last week or so, like, even the fridge humming was making my skin crawl. So, then what do we do about it?
Shannon: Yeah, I mean, I’ll be honest, I don’t really know, [00:11:00] um, but for me, I try to go somewhere that maybe isn’t necessarily devoid of noise pollution, but is quieter in the sense that the noise is more, I guess, palatable for me.
So I live in Southern California. So for me, the place that I go to escape noise pollution is the beach, which is actually a Pretty noisy place, but for me, the sounds there are the waves, the wind, the birds, you know, it’s not quiet and there’s still plenty of noise pollution that’s happening, but It’s different than the sound of the cars going by and the refrigerator humming.
And all
Annie: those damn leaf blowers.
Shannon: All the leaf [00:12:00] blowers. There are no leaf blowers on the beach.
Annie: Shannon’s ideas of finding a place where the noise around you can bring you back to tolerable levels is smart. Find a place or time where you can control the incoming noise stimulation and actively let it reset your noise barometer.
We can’t just turn it off. But we can choose our level of stimulation. We can choose where the noise comes from and how loud it is. Lots of times my kids screaming at me to WATCH THIS is much more palatable when they’re hanging from monkey bars or going down the slide at the park. Finding an empty campsite beach.
And the springtime is also a favorite pastime of my family. Nature seems to be the most impactful cure for noise pollution, as it offers the perfect level of stimulation for both kids and adults. I also asked what ChatGPT thought, and don’t worry about taking notes, the script of this whole episode will be available on our website, mountainmindsetcounseling.com. Here are some strategies that ChatGPT said
might help.
ChatGPT
Schedule breaks. Make time for short breaks during the day to recharge. Even a few minutes can be beneficial. Set boundaries to protect personal time and space. Create calming environments. Practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques and deep breathing.
Limit screen time or do a digital detox. Engage in relaxing activities. Get physical exercise. Establish routines. Focus on mindful parenting. Remember that every individual is unique, and it may take some trial and error to find the strategies that work best for you. If chronic overstimulation persists, seeking guidance from a health care professional or therapist can provide personalized support and coping strategies.
Annie
Okay, thanks Chat [00:14:00] GPT, but that was a lot. And each of those suggestions could be a podcast episode on their own. But here’s my takeaway and what I would recommend to friends and clients. Don’t underestimate what taking just a two minute break from your kids can do. Not only do you get to excuse yourself, get some quiet time, but you’re also modeling for your kids how to take care of yourself in the moment.
As far as getting bigger breaks, even if you don’t think you need a break right now, schedule one for the future. Having a babysitter lined up can be a powerful motivator to get through harder days. Meditation really does help. Sometimes after my kids go to bed, when I’m about at the end of my rope, I turn off all the lights, maybe light some candles, sit in the quietest room I can find, and just bathe in the silence.
Sometimes I search meditation for overstimulation on YouTube. Related to this, is putting away my phone. It is a [00:15:00] fallacy that doom scrolling is relaxing. The images, targeted ads, and 30 second clips of a stranger’s life is only adding to the stimulation. Pick up a journal and a pen and start writing.
About anything. Just barf onto that paper. Your brain will thank you for it. Journaling is so beneficial because it allows you the chance to hear your own thoughts. Solitude is something we don’t get enough of. When I say solitude, don’t think isolation. You can be in solitude in a coffee shop. Solitude just means you aren’t being influenced by anyone else’s ideas, opinions, or even music.
When you exercise, try it without listening to anything. Focus on the sound of your breathing, your shoes hitting the pavement. Allow your brain to work some things out for itself. Physical exercise is an example of what I [00:16:00] call active relaxation. If you’re anything like me, the thought of doing nothing to relax is boring and scary.
So discover the beauty of active relaxation. Think about what’s actually relaxing to your brain. Singular focus. Limited distractions. Sustained attention. Your brain is drooling at the thought. You can be relaxing while you do a crossword puzzle, or reading a book, painting or crafting, knitting, drawing, or learning something new.
Oh, and did you happen to notice the mention of mindful parenting in that last chat GPT section? I would love to do a podcast episode on this subject, but in a nutshell, mindful parenting is about focusing on mindful parenting. Quality time over quantity time with your kids. What this looks like in practice, set a timer for 15 minutes, doing an activity with your kids that spark connection and fun.
Give [00:17:00] them your undivided attention. No cell phones, no notifications, no TV on in the background, or anything else to interrupt you. After that, say, “Okay, that was so much fun. Thanks for spending time with me. Now I have to go do, fill in the blank”, whatever you need to go do. Kids are so much more amenable to time away from you when they’ve had their cup filled by you first.
I know it’s tough to do. When the noise pollution is out of control, the last thing you may want to do is sit closer to your screaming toddler. But I think you’ll be very happy with the results that this brings. I know it’s hard, but we can do hard things. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Thank you for listening.
See you next time.
Mountain Mindset Counseling 